Overachievers rarely say, “I’m stuck.” We say things like:
“I’m carrying everything.”
“No one listens to me.”
“I’m so far behind.”
These sound like facts. But they are often something else.
They are rackets.
I first learned about rackets at Save A Warrior, a trauma healing program for veterans and first responders. My facilitator said something that stopped me cold:
A racket is a pattern you say you want to stop, but unconsciously keep running because it gives you a payoff.
It was at that moment that I realized that I had many rackets around work, time and proving my worth.
Resentment that protected my sense of value. Intellectual superiority that protected my fear of being ordinary. Urgency that protected my fear of being alone with my thoughts and feelings.
These were not flaws. They were survival strategies. Unfortunately, they just look more socially acceptable.
What is a racket?
A racket is a psychological loop where pain on the surface delivers a hidden benefit underneath.
You say you want the pattern to stop, but unconsciously, the pattern protects something important.
Control. Safety. Identity. Self-worth.
Overachievers are not addicted to success. They are addicted to the emotional safety that success provides.
Here were my top 3 rackets. I consistently see these in my clients too. I’m hoping it can give you some awareness. Before you can make changes, you have to make the unconscious, conscious.
1) The Hero Racket
“I have to do everything myself.”
You fix problems before they explode. You catch mistakes others miss. You quietly think, “If I don’t handle this, it will fall apart.”
On the surface this looks like responsibility. But underneath, it’s really about control and wanting to be the hero so that you can look good.
If others stepped up, you would lose your identity as the indispensable one.
The cost is burnout and a team that never learns to lead.
Deep down, that is safer than being insignificant.
2) The Know-It-All Racket
“No one listens to me.”
You are usually the smartest person in the room. You see patterns others miss. You connect dots before anyone else does. And when you speak, people disengage.
It feels like they are not listening.
But the pattern is different than you think:
- You speak to prove intelligence, not to create understanding.
- You lead with complexity instead of clarity.
- You explain instead of collaborating.
Being ignored feels insulting, but being understood would require translation, not brilliance. And translation feels beneath you.
The cost is you stay intellectually superior and socially ineffective. You are right, but you are not influential.
Deep down, that is safer than being ordinary.
3) The Time Racket
“I’m so far behind.”
There is always something unfinished. Always something overdue. Always a sense that you should be further along by now.
On the surface, this looks like ambition. Underneath, it is something else.
Feeling behind creates urgency. Urgency creates identity. Identity creates momentum.
If you were truly caught up, you would lose the pressure that drives you. You would have to face a quieter question:
Who am I when I am not racing against time?
So you overcommit. You underestimate time. You say yes faster than you say no. Then you point to the chaos and say, “See? I’m drowning.”
The cost is a permanent state of urgency which burns out your team and causes you health problems. You create a life where “enough”is always just out of reach.
Deep down, that is safer than having space to think and feel.
The real pattern
Every racket is a trade:
- Control instead of peace.
- Competence instead of intimacy.
- Achievement instead of authenticity.
We are not broken. We are loyal to strategies that once worked and now quietly limit our leadership.
The question that changes everything
What does this pattern protect me from feeling, risking, or losing?
Because the moment you see the payoff, the racket loses its power. That is where real awareness and leadership begins.
If this resonated with you, I would love to invite you to join my Skool community for Burned-Out Overachievers. We do a monthly experiment to examine all the ways that we over function and why. Come experiment with us!